The District of North Vancouver is tossing around names for two North Vancouver communities–communities that already have names, but apparently the names aren’t spiffy enough to justly represent the epic redevelopment they’re about to endure.

These are the vital aspects of municipal politics, people.

District Council has narrowed it down to two names for each community: Lower Capilano will either be “Lions Gate Village” or “Capilano Village” and Seylynn will be known as the “Bridges District” or “Lynn Bridges”.

Again, I’d like to remind readers how serious this task is. These names aren’t just names. They’re NEW NAMES. A fresh start! A clean slate!

If Seylynn is Bruce Jenner, then Lynn Bridges is Caitlyn Jenner.

In the spirit of re-christening these existing communities with existing names, I’d like to throw out a few suggestions:

 

Lower Capilano

South West North Vancouver Village

Capilano Township

Klahanie Cocoon

Tin Palace Stumble

Denny’s Den

Lions Gate Bridge Off-Ramp Valley

Capilano Crossing

Smog Town

 

Seylynn

Lynn Bin

Lynnley Land

Georgetown

Toby’s Armpit

Toby’s Crotch

(really any crevasse belonging to Toby is solid)

Six Bridges

Infinite Construction Site

 

What do YOU think we should name these communities?