Three days. 18 juices. An earthy rainbow of bottled goodness, carefully crafted to cleanse my organs, mind and soul, aka the Signature Cleanse from The Juicery Co.
From the website: “The Signature Cleanse is a great way to kick start healthy eating or detoxify your system.”
People cleanse for three reasons:
- Vanity: you want to lose weight or look better.
- Health: you want to feel better, or change their dietary habits.
- You will die young if you don’t cool it for like, a minute.
My cleanse colleague, Sam and I fall safely into the third category. The few hours a week we commit to the gym (pre-workout, anyone?) are mostly eclipsed by bouts of heavy to very heavy drinking, smoking and vegetable racism. So when I suggested we try The Juicery Co.’s three day cleanse to give our temples some overdue maintenance, he agreed to be my cleanse partner.
Cleanse Tip #1: Find a cleanse partner. Shared pain is love.
You have to order your cleanse from The Juicery Co. at least two days in advance of when you want to start, so that it can be squeezed and bottled fresh. The three day cleanse, which comes in three cardboard six packs (six per day, 18 total) can be delivered to your doorstep or picked up in store.
This is what a box of juice looks like:
Day 1: The Original, Morning Sunshine, The Greenist, Grounded, Almond Milk, Lemon-Aid
Day2: The Pacific, The Vera, The Original, Saving Grace, Almond Milk, Local Rose
Day 3: The Greenist, Tumeric Tonic, The Pacific, Dad’s Juice, Cocoa Hazelnut Mylk, Watermelon Fresca
The Original, Greenist, and Pacific are all of the green/kale variety. Grounded, Saving Grace and Dad’s Juice all fall in the root/beet category. Morning sunshine, Lemon-Aid, The Vera, Local Rose and Watermelon Fresca are citrus-y.
Then there’s the nut mylks. The beautiful, angelic, sweet, sweet nut mylks. The nut mylks are designed to be your “dinner” juice. They’re thick, high in protein, freaking delicious and make you feel somewhat full. The daily nut mylk is little jolt of paradise after a full day of slurping fruit and vegetables through a straw.
Cleansing is a mental battle. When you’re used to putting upwards of 3,000 calories into your face per day, flipping the switch and knocking that number down to less than 1,000 isn’t easy. Prepare to be somewhat HANGRY. However, the variety of juices in The Juicery Co.’s signature cleanse kept things interesting and fun!
A few screen caps of text messages between my cleanse partner, Sam and myself should help paint the picture:
Cleanse Tip #2: Don’t look down.
Cleanse Tip #3: No cigarettes.
Cleanse Tip #4: If you think it’s a fart, it’s probably shit.
Cleanse Tip #5: The MYLK IS GLORIOUS.
Cleanse Tip #6: Protect your Juice.
On day three as I was getting out of my car, the bottom of my my cute little tote bag split open and I watched in slow-motion horror as my lunch juice smashed into a thousand spiteful chunks of green sludge and glass.
The devastation was real:
Still, I made it to the finish line without cheating.
Cleanse Tip #7: Don’t cheat.
On the night of day three I treated myself to a bowl of Pho, which I nearly brought home with me and spooned in bed. True love.
Wait, is that cheating? Whatever.
A few days after finishing the cleanse I had a chance to talk to The Juicery Co. owner, Alex Troll. She said that the three day cleanse is designed to be more of a detox than a traditional cleanse where your intestines stop working and you flush everything. These cleanses, such as the Master Cleanse, tend to be in the range of 7-15 days long. Alex said that her cleanse is harder than those because it’s designed to NOT let your guts rest, so the hunger can be more intense.
Did I feel better after? Definitely. There’s no denying that each and every juice in the Juicery Co.’s cleanse is packed full of nutrients and super healthy stuff. I’d call it a three day reset–not a traditional cleanse in terms of purging your intestines, but a great option if you’re looking to show your body some love, boost your immune system and feel fantastic when you’re done.